When I was in my early twenties, I entered the adult dating pool. Little did I know then that a lot of people had gone before me who had been peeing in that pool. And even though most of the time I was shivering down at the shallow end, too afraid to get completely wet, every once in a while I would find somebody I wanted to go out with. Not having a full sense of myself, when I would go out on a date, I would try to be what I thought the other person wanted me to be. Like most people who are afraid to be who they really are, I became convinced I’d be more accepted by others if I could somehow “tone down” the Chris Michael’s version.
That became my strategy: to tone down, to be less exuberant and enthusiastic. I did that because my friends at the time and most of the people I had already gone out with said, “Chris, you are just too much! You’re too conscious. You’re too awake. You have too many expectations. And most people can’t handle that.” So I thought, okay, I can tone it down a bit. I can be less enthusiastic. But then it occurred to me that I have no clue how to be less than what I already am. Should I pretend to be less wise? How do you practice being unconscious? How can you put yourself back to sleep once you’ve had an awakening?
Needless to say, my strategy failed. I just didn’t know how to tone myself down. Plus, I figured that eventually if I kept dating someone, at some point they’re going to see the real me anyway. So why not show them what that is up front? Why not give them the full dose on the first date?
Then it occurred to me that maybe my friends were right, maybe I am too much for most people. But this is how Nature designed me, so the person who would be attracted to me is going to be looking for someone courageous and conscious. They’re not going to be like most people. They’re going to be extraordinary. And it wasn’t long after that when I met my partner, whom I’ve been with for almost twenty years.
The moral of the story is: Whatever you are by nature, keep to it. Never desert yourself or the unique way God created you to express. Be what Nature intended you to be. Be true to your heart. Follow your inner guidance. It will lead to your true destiny, a destiny that will fulfill your greatest dreams and wildest imagination. Give the world the full dose on the first date.
From The Power of You